Sharp Rocks of Life

Tuesday, August 5, 2014; 6:50 pm:

Today I would like to relate a story, I got permission to tell, originally told by our facilitator at group last week. This was a true story from his past. For anonymity, I will refer to this brother as Phil.

Phil was on vacation with his family in Mexico at a beach house. One night, one of his younger granddaughters, about four years of age, asked that he and she go down together to the beach to play in some of the sea foam before the sun set. He was glad that she wanted to spend this time with him and gladly walked her down to the beach.

Much of the water had already receded, exposing the sharp rocks and corral. As they approached the rocks, he saw how there were just too many to approach the receded shore safely. Seeing as they did not bring their shoes with them, he told her, "I don't think we can get across. There are too many sharp rocks."

 The little girl looked at him then let go of his hand. She said, "Come on, Grandpa, we just have to find the right path!" She then careful, and gently pressed down with her foot to find the solid sand patches between the sharp edges of the rocks. After a short while, she arrived at the other end of the rocks. She turned around and called to her grandfather, "See, Grandpa? It's easy!"

Phil almost cried as he instantly recognized the life lessons this young child was teaching him. She would not understand then what impact her innocent statement made on him. Slowly, he followed her tiny footprints which were clearly visible in the sand. Sometimes he stepped near them, sometimes he stepped directly on top of them just to make sure he could find the safe way through where he joined her at the other side.

This story hit me similar to the way it him when it happened to him. I can just imagine others calling me, telling me "We just have to find the right path. Come on! It's easy!" The sharp rocks of life stand ominously in front of us all. We just have to slow down, look for the prints already made in the sand, and carefully, place our own feet in the path which has been laid out before us!

New to the Course

Tuesday, July 29, 2014; 8:17 pm:

Last week I was in group meeting and we had a new individual show up. There are a couple stereotypes of those who come to group: those ready to work and those who only want to get it done and leave. This guy wanted to get it done and leave. I can't forget the words he first spoke when he was given a recovery manual and told he can keep it, "Oh, don't worry, I'll probably give it back when the steps are over." Everyone else in the room smiled and chuckled under our breath. We were all thinking the same thing: "Yeah, I thought the same thing when I came. He has a lot to learn."

If ever there was someone who needs the steps it is this guy. He skimmed the headings and determined he could pretty much skips the first three or four steps because he was already good and they were not "spiritual steps". He just wanted to get it over with and be done so he could go get his temple marriage. We carefully helped him understand how the recovery process really works.

It's incredible how sneaky Satan can be in tricking us into thinking we are righteous, clean, and on the right track. That is why the first couple steps in the process are so important in the first place. The recovery process is so much more than abstinence: it is recovery. Half the guys in group already have temple recommends and are still in the first five steps. Some have finished the steps and have started over again. This is a sign of a person in recovery. They are doing all they can to overcome the sin and not just avoid it.

Better Being Born Good or To Overcome Evil?

Tuesday, July 8, 2014; 7:33 pm:

I was playing a game and one of the characters in that game said something to the effect of whether it is better to be born good or to overcome the natural tendencies of being evil through constant study, prayer, and application. This is an excellent question. I think that this is truly the whole question of life, the universe, and everything though!

In the pre-mortal world, we were presented with two plans: God The Father and Christ's Plan, and an alternate by Lucifer (later Satan, of course). Lucifer suggested that everyone be saved, no matter what so that not one would be lost. This of course would erase our agency. We would not be able to choose what we do, we would be "born good", and there would be nothing we could do about it.

With Christ's plan (the original, unchanging, and eternal plan in the first place), we would be given the ability to choose. This would bring with it great blessings of knowledge and understanding. One of my favorite quotes from the scriptures comes from Mother Eve:

     10 And in that day Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God.

     11 And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our   transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.

        --Moses 5:10-11

I discovered one day what it meant to have an atonement. It was through my struggles with the addiction and all of its effects that I realized how important a Savior really is. As it turns out, there are sins we can commit which we cannot, in this life, fully make recompense for. Only Christ can overcome those for us. No matter how much I try, no matter what I do, there is no way for me to travel back in time and undo my addiction from the beginning. It is done, it was committed. I can only repent, abstain, overcome, and rely on The Savior to take it away. That is the meaning of the atonement.

Had we been given Lucifer's plan, we would not be able to be "at one" with God at all. We would be miserable, or worse: eternally ignorant of the joy that comes from living a righteous life in contrast to what is evil.

So is it better to be born good or overcome evil? As painful, difficult, hard, annoying, and strenuous as it may seem, I choose to overcome evil.

Watching for the Monsoon

 

Thursday, July 3, 2014; 4:05:

Monsoons in Southern Arizona are an interesting thing. Year after year growing up I have looked out my window and enjoyed the relief the monsoons gave from the summer heat and dusty wind. I noticed that there was a daily pattern to them:

The day starts off bright with clear skies; no clouds in sight. By noon, the first wispy clouds have shown up. By around three the skies turn dark with splotches of blue sky. By four there are distance rumblings of thunder and sometimes flashes of lightning. The wind picks up. By five it pours. Sometimes it lasts as few as five minutes, sometimes hours (either way, the same amount of water might fall in both instances). Within another couple hours the clouds disperse once again.

Of course, there is always some variance like when it rains for three straight days and the roads flood out or when the clouds decided not to come in at all.

I was watching the storm today, and realized how close it is to worldly temptation. It may be the best sun-shiny day until the storm comes. There is a lot of warning for the storm, but I find it is difficult to notice since it typically rolls in over head without any sound. Gradually the daylight gets blocked out and I begin to feel comfortable. Am I comfortable with the temptation when it comes?

All of a sudden, without warning, the wind blows. I have time to seek shelter, but I tend to stay out in the wind to feel the cool breeze. A distant, soft, rumbling warns of the coming storm. Then the rain appears in sheets. It rarely sends warning droplets. When the rain hits, it's too late! I get wet instantly. The rain combines with the wind and it all seems to raining sideways! I can barely see the house from the street! Before long there is an eruption of electricity in the air!

Sometimes it lasts a short time, sometimes temptation lasts for days on end. But it always clears in the end. The adversary might make the storm look inviting to start, but it will grab me in the end and drench me if I do not heed the constant, gentle, rumblings warnings of the Spirit to get out of the storm! Thankfully, The Lord offers the towel of repentance when I slip into the indulgence of a storm.

Don't Break the Moment

Friday, June 27, 2914; 8:26 pm:

This week I have been on vacation with my girlfriend in Utah. Over the course of the week I have been able to see many things which are inspiring. I was able to see some of my family I had not seen in years, I was able to see her family and get to know them. I was able to see a river and flow down it. I was able to see the landscape from the top of a mountain. And best of all, I was able to see twelve temples and walk around most of them.

In all this time, the temptation level has been near zero. I have not needed to find a time or place to hide or flee. I have been sober the entire time and it feels great. In fact, the only reason it even crossed my mind was because my girlfriend checked up on me. I am grateful for The Lord for helping me stay this way: for taking it out of my mind.

I have found that surrounding myself with things and people I love makes the entire world a different place in my mind and I can even feel free.

Now I have to carry it with me and make sure I don't break the moment!

Take A Break

Wednesday, June 18, 2014; 10:09 pm:

Something that crosses my mind from time to time is just how much the addiction occupies my mind. Sometimes I think that part of the reason I give in to temptation is because I am concentrating on overcoming it. When this happens, I find that I sometimes forget to live the rest of my life. It is difficult at times to realize at times that I am so caught up in overcoming my addiction that in a sense I have created a secondary addiction: an addiction to the process of the cure.

I find that my best moments of sobriety come when I forget that I have an addiction in the first place. In this case, it is important to "Take a Break"!

Dearest Heavenly Father. . . .

Dearest Heavenly Father,

I thank Thee for the blessings which Thou hast given me. Thou hast given me such wondrous blessings, I do not know how to accept them all. I have received from Thy hand promises and prophesies which both bless and confound me. I pray that I will learn to grow using all the talents and abilities Thou hast bestowed upon me. Allow me to accept with patience and understanding the trials which do beset me. Help me in my efforts to grow closer to Thee.

I need Thy guiding hand in all that I do. Please bring the peace to my heart that I know only Thy Spirit can bestow. I need that peace to calm my vexations and torments of my soul. Thou knowest of those things which I stand need of. Thou hast made me aware of my situation and granted me the privilege to understand who I am and who I need to become.

I pray for Thy constant guidance. Help me to follow the path that is the most sure way to return to Thy presence. I so desire to have Thy never-ceasing companionship with me at all times. As I enter into the world, I need Thee to help remind me who I am that I might be true to the straight-and-narrow way.

Please forgive me of those trespasses which I have committed. At times, I have a tendency to give in to the natural man. I understand that he is an enemy to Thee and I need Thy guidance and companionship to combat this natural man and all the wiles of the devil. I desire to be free from temptation and sin, but understand that I must endure to fully understand and comprehend fully Thy full plan of happiness and salvation.

Please bestow upon me the power of the Atonement through Thy Son, Jesus Christ. Allow me to reach into the heavens and feel of the peace of cleanliness and righteous power and light. In return, please allow Thy Son to reach down and grasp my out-stretched hands. Please allow me to come forward and enter in an embrace that I might feel of His love to me and recognize for myself the gift which has been provided.

Help me to be a better person. I pray that I might serve my fellow men in ways that will help them and honor Thee. I wish to make recompense for the wrongs which I have committed. Allow me the opportunity and open my mind that I might remember those things which need correction that I might be able to make proper restitution. Help me honor the Priesthood and use it to bless the lives of others.

Father, I so desire to be with Thee. I wish to receive the blessings which Thou hast promised to the righteous and faithful. Help me be one of those who will stand on your right hand at that Great and Dreadful and otherwise Wondrous Day of the coming of The Lord, Thy Son: Jesus Christ, my Savior!

Please, Father, grant me this petition that I may feel peace in my heart and be one with Thee and Thy Son. Help me honor my part of my covenants that I may make good on Thy promises. Help me be whole. Quiet the ramblings of my heart. Grant me witness of thine everlasting love and affection.

This I pray, in the name of Thy Son, Jesus Christ, Amen.