Wednesday, June 18, 2014; 10:09 pm:
Something that crosses my mind from time to time is just how much the addiction occupies my mind. Sometimes I think that part of the reason I give in to temptation is because I am concentrating on overcoming it. When this happens, I find that I sometimes forget to live the rest of my life. It is difficult at times to realize at times that I am so caught up in overcoming my addiction that in a sense I have created a secondary addiction: an addiction to the process of the cure.
I find that my best moments of sobriety come when I forget that I have an addiction in the first place. In this case, it is important to "Take a Break"!
I totally get what you're saying. This seems like such a contradiction--I find myself thinking, "I can't take a break; if I don't keep an eye on the addiction constantly it will take over!" But that assumes I can control it, which I can't. Instead, surrendering my desire to control is the only way to be successful against it. What a paradox.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I kept thinking, "a vacation...from my problems?" (for anyone who's familiar with that movie)