Monday, July 15, 2013
Honesty and Trust
_________________________
15 Jul 2013, 10:52 PM
Honesty is a virtue I should never take lightly. It goes alongside trust. When there is no honesty, there can be no trust. I seriously did not put several entries in this journal just for the simple reason that I knew Stephanie would read them and know that I was lying. On Friday, we went to the temple. By Saturday, I was back to my old vices in full throttle. I had four beads in the jar and had just taken them out a day before. Stephanie had a wonderful time at the temple. I did not want her to feel bad over my annoying addiction.
Well, I was stupid and allowed myself to lead her on into thinking that I was clean for longer than I had been. I can blame not being sober for it all I like, but it doesn't change the fact that I lied. Is this what I have come to? Lying? Especially to the only person I have trusted in this world to work with me and help me? How could I?
For four straight days I have been laboring over this in my mind. I was feeling guilty, horrible, and worst of all, I knew I would be telling her soon enough, I was just afraid of the response. It was the same fear I had the very first time I trusted her with the truth of the secret sin two months ago. I had this horrible, insatiable pain in my heart, that once I confessed the relationship would be over. I was worried that I had lost her trust completely!
I contemplated how I would combat this. I pondered that I could lead her on for weeks until she lost count of the days I was clean and then I could "correct" it by giving her the correct number of days. Who was I kidding? How does this fix a lie? It doesn't, plain and simple. All it does is convince my mind that it is okay to rationalize a little sin so long as others forget about it. This is not true.
I have never been a blatant liar. I have hidden the truth of my addiction for a long time, and would change conversations or avoid the topic, but I never flat out lied. What is this doing to me? Is it turning me into some monster? Or did I just now defeat another demon?
When you do something the Lord's way, He helps you. Yes, I hurt her. And yes, she is upset with my dishonesty. But the confession took the weight off my shoulders and she told me she forgave me. I don't know how she can be so strong! I tell her thanks for putting-up with me, and she tells me there is nothing to "put-up with"! So amazing. If I am going to be good company, I need to act like good company.
I wrote her this after some further thought:
"You are awesome. Thanks for being who you are and for helping me through all my nonsense. It has been a candle to light the dismal room I sometimes shut myself into. Keep that flame alight. I need it. Don't let the world get to you. Just remember what the world looks like from the top of the mountain! Remember that the mountain of the Lord is the temple. Remember the peace you find there as well. Sweet dreams. . ."
She is asleep and does not know I have written this for her, but she will wake up to it.
Other Blogs
________________________
15 Jul 2013, 12:08 AM
Okay, so I have to admit that when I originally started this blog, I wrote it with the intention that it would be able to help other people rather than just myself. Maybe I should have written "instead of myself". I am not going to lie that this journal is intended to help others. Had I not wanted to help others, I would have left it on my computer desktop and never turned it into a blog. But here we are anyway. This is a blog, and if you are reading this, then obviously you found it. Hopefully it does help you.
As you can see from the time posted on this particular entry, I am up later than usual. To be honest, since I posted the last one, I have not stopped reading other recovery blogs. Specifically I have been reading blogs from LDS Addiction Recovery Blogs. I find it quite comforting to read the words of those who are struggling with sexual addiction like me, and blogs of those who are suffering as the result of the addiction of someone they love. Blogs of those who have addictions, though they may not be the same as mine, remind me so much of myself, that my mind cites back to those times I did the dame things they did. Reading those blogs of others suffering over loved ones puts the problem in proper perspective to those of us who are blinded by our own drunkenness in sin.
Today I would like to commend Girl of the Dust for her amazing blog. She is so open in the manner in which she discusses her history, pains, thoughts, bewilderments, struggles, and solutions for overcoming those things she struggles with. She also has an amazing way of writing that is just mesmerizing. I am not writing this journal as a means for huge acclaim, but I do fancy myself a good writer. Apparently I am a little out of practice and should work a little harder at what I do. A little
more sincerity in what I write couldn't hurt either.
more sincerity in what I write couldn't hurt either.
It is nice to write something to ease the mind and get thoughts put into words. It is even better in my mind, to write something that I will want to revisit in the near-future to inspire myself to do better!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Different Venue
________________________
14 Jul 2013, 10:22 PM
So now I am actually at my parents' home for the week. I am here because I am going to be doing a project for work and I didn't feel like commuting this week. I save a lot more money that way. I'm thinking that by staying here I will actually be away from the temptations that normally bother me. This way I will be able to stay cleaner longer.
Plus, since I've been here, We got a call that my brother and his new wife got their temple clearance letters from their previous marriages to be sealed in the mail. They have to wait until the anniversary of their civl marriage, but that will be in November. This gives me a whole new reason to become temple worthy sooner than later. I must attend that sealing. Especially since they are expecting and the child will likely be born before the sealing date. I must be there!
14 Jul 2013, 10:22 PM
So now I am actually at my parents' home for the week. I am here because I am going to be doing a project for work and I didn't feel like commuting this week. I save a lot more money that way. I'm thinking that by staying here I will actually be away from the temptations that normally bother me. This way I will be able to stay cleaner longer.
Plus, since I've been here, We got a call that my brother and his new wife got their temple clearance letters from their previous marriages to be sealed in the mail. They have to wait until the anniversary of their civl marriage, but that will be in November. This gives me a whole new reason to become temple worthy sooner than later. I must attend that sealing. Especially since they are expecting and the child will likely be born before the sealing date. I must be there!
Today's Talk on Tithing
Talk on Tithing
In order for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to thrive in the world, it needs financing. The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, has given us a way to pay for the up-keep of His Kingdom. This is the Law of Tithing. In 1838, Joseph Smith inquired of the Lord what should be required as a sufficient sacrifice of the people. Doctrine and Covenants Section 119 gives the Lord's answer and commandment for us to pay tithing in these latter days:
1 Verily, thus saith the Lord, I require all their surplus property to be put into the hands of the bishop of my church in Zion,
2 For the building of mine house, and for the laying of the foundation of Zion and for the priesthood, and for the debts of the Presidency of my Church.
3 And this shall be the beginning of the tithing of my people.
4 And after that, those who have thus been tithed shall pay one-tenth of all their interest annually; and this shall be a standing law unto them forever, for my holy priesthood, saith the Lord.
5 Verily I say unto you, it shall come to pass that all those who gather unto the land of Zion shall be tithed of their surplus properties, and shall observe this law, or they shall not be found worthy to abide among you.
6 And I say unto you, if my people observe not this law, to keep it holy, and by this law sanctify the land of Zion unto me, that my statutes and my judgments may be kept thereon, that it may be most holy, behold, verily I say unto you, it shall not be a land of Zion unto you.
7 And this shall be an ensample unto all the stakes of Zion. Even so. Amen.
As we can see, the Lord's definition is simply "one-tenth of all. . .interest annually". To determine a tenth, we use our favorite middle-school mathematics to move the decimal place one spot to the left. For a thousand dollars, pay one hundred; for one hundred, pay ten; for ten, pay one; for one dollar, pay a dime; and for dime, pay a penny.
In 1953, Joseph L. Wirthlin, a former Presiding Bishop of the Church, gave his definition when he explained: “The very word itself denotes one-tenth. A tithe is one-tenth of the wage earner’s full income. A tithe is one-tenth of the professional man’s net income. A tithe is one-tenth of the farmer’s net income, and also one-tenth of the produce used by the farmer to sustain his family which is a just and equitable requirement, as others purchase out of their income such food as is needed to provide for their families. A tithe is one-tenth of the dividends derived from investments. A tithe is one-tenth of net insurance income less premiums if tithing has been paid on the premiums.” (Conference Report, April 1953, p. 98. Italics added.)
We should remember that many Church leaders have counseled as Brigham Young did that like other commandments the Lord will not force you to pay your tithing, though he urges that we do so honestly and not pretend to do it (“Brigham Young on Tithing,” Improvement Era, May 1941, p. 282). The Lord first gave us our agency and our choice to follow him or not follow him. You can come to church activities, attend meetings, and socialize with other members and not pay your tithing, however, if you want the blessing that the Lord has in store for us, you must pay your tithes and offerings to the Lord. This is, in-fact, a question placed before us to enter the temple.
Heber J. Grant was well known for his counsel on tithing during his presidency in the church. He gave the following in The Improvement Era in 1941: "I heard a very splendid illustration given by a Sunday School teacher of the Primary class. She brought to her school ten beautiful red apples. She explained that everything we have in the world came to us from the Lord, and she said, 'Now, children, if I give one of you these ten apples, will you give me one back again? Now, any one of you children that will do that, hold up your hand.' And of course they all held up their hands. Then she said, 'That is what the Lord does for us. He gives us the ten apples, but He requests that we return one to Him to show our appreciation of that gift.'
"The great trouble with the majority of people is that when they get the ten apples, they eat up nine of them and then they cut the other in two and give the Lord half of what is left. Some of them cut the apple in two and eat up one-half of it and then hold up the other half and ask the Lord to take a bite. That is about as near as they see fit to share properly and show their gratitude to the Lord.
"The payment of our tithing in the season thereof — when we get our income — makes it come easy. I find that those who pay tithing every month have very much less difficulty in paying it than those who postpone payment to the end of the year, when they have eaten the nine apples, so to speak; but if they pay the minute they get the apples in their possession, there is no hardship; their hearts are full of gratitude, and they are willing to express their gratitude; but after the nine apples are eaten, they think the Lord is very hard to want all they have left" (Improvement Era, vol. 44, pp. 9, 56).
If we look anciently, in the scriptures, we can see what some of the blessings are that tithing affords us. We learn in Genesis 14 that Abraham (then Abram) paid tithes to Melchizedek, who was the high priest. This is expounded upon in Hebrews 7 and Alma 13, where we learn that it is through the Priesthood that these tithes were administered. The Sons of Levi, for instance, who were those chosen by God to administer in the Priesthood, were in charge of collecting the tithes of the people from Moses through to the days of Jesus Christ. In Genesis 28, we see Jacob covenanting to always pay one tenth to God.
A most oft quoted scripture on tithing, however, comes from Malachi chapter 3:
8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.
9 Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.
10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
How great would it be to receive so many blessings, we don't even have room enough to receive them? How awful does it sound to know that we may be robbing God? We should remember that God has given us everything we have. From air and water, to our very bodies. He has given us the gospel and all the knowledge we receive. So far, I already can't name all the blessings I have received. But these are given to everyone. Imagine how much more we would receive when we remember to pay our tithing!
When we read these versus, we often forget to quote the rest of the chapter. The rest of the chapter explains several more of the blessings which come from tithing. In verse seven, the Lord says "Return unto me, and I will return unto you, saith the Lord of hosts." Now let's see verses eleven and twelve and count the blessings of paying tithes and offerings: "11 And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord of hosts. 12 And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the Lord of hosts." Now those are some blessings I could enjoy. The Lord actually promises to bless the whole nation!
One of the greatest blessings I have found in my personal paying of tithing is the growth in my testimony. This is one of the commandments from the Lord that we are able to follow one hundred percent perfectly. Every one of us has the ability to be perfect in this. And with so many blessings afforded to us because of it, it is worth doing. The only way to learn what those blessing are, however, is to actually pay it.
My parents taught me well the lessons of paying tithing. In my house we did not have an allowance, but at least once a year, at tithing settlement, we would pay offerings. My parents would give us a few pennies to put in an envelope and have us fill out the tithing slip as early as we could read. We would give this as our offering. It was a special thing to give a small token to the Bishop and then receive a paper statement from him with my own name on it! I remember the excited feeling to this day. It inspired me to want to earn my own money. I then started collecting the coins I found scattered on the ground from time to time and would separate out a tenth of that income and give it to the Lord. It was, after all, a gift from the Lord, and He deserved His portion of it. Eventually of course, through mowing my neighbors' lawns and other chores I was able to earn other income I was eager to tithe.
As I pay it now, I receive abundant blessings. I am certain that because I pay my tithing the Lord has taught me how to mange my own money better. I will often figure my budget in my head and not determine how I will manage to pay the tithing. But when I sit at the computer and include the tithing in as a part of the budget, everything works out.
Because of my paying tithing, I have been able to afford what I have. I was able to get post-secondary education and completely pay for it without loans. I am not completely out of debt, I have plenty of that, but the debt is reasonable, manageable, and as I continue to pay tithing, somehow manages to get paid faster than I plan for it. In fact, at one point, I asked the Lord to help me find a job, and he gave me two! The blessings never end. I may not have a garden which won't cast its fruit before its time, but I do have a meager income and bills which must come at certain times of the month to be paid on time and cars which need to be kept up. If bills come early or an accident occurs, it can hurt financially. The Lord, however, helps find a way, every time. I can rest easy and exercise increased faith, that even in those circumstances, though I may have to sacrifice, due to my payment in tithing, I will be blessed with a means to do what is necessary to get my life back in order. And this will come in a fashion of blessings so large, I will not have room enough to receive them!
Taken from the May 1994 Ensign is a story by Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “During World War II, my widowed mother supported her three young children on a schoolteacher’s salary that was meager. When I became conscious that we went without some desirable things because we didn’t have enough money, I asked my mother why she paid so much of her salary as tithing. I have never forgotten her explanation: ‘Dallin, there might be some people who can get along without paying tithing, but we can’t. The Lord has chosen to take your father and leave me to raise you children. I cannot do that without the blessings of the Lord, and I obtain those blessings by paying an honest tithing. When I pay my tithing, I have the Lord’s promise that he will bless us, and we must have those blessings if we are to get along’” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1994, 43–44; or Ensign, May 1994, 33).
But there is another driving force in my willingness to pay my tithing, and that is in knowing where it goes. What does tithing pay for anyway? We don't have a paid clergy, so we know the Bishop doesn't look forward to buying a nice yacht with all the money handed him. . . . No, the money goes to helping build the Lord's Kingdom. Doctrine and Covenants Section 120 tells us how tithes should be administered: "Verily, thus saith the Lord, the time is now come, that it shall be disposed of by a council, composed of the First Presidency of my Church, and of the bishop and his council, and by my high council; and by mine own voice unto them, saith the Lord. Even so. Amen." The 'bishop' in this case refers to the Presiding Bishop of the Church and the 'council' refers to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
Elder Robert D. Hales, in the October 2002 General Conference explained this: "Significant in our day is the way in which tithing is distributed. As we see examples of greed and avarice among some irresponsible corporate executives, we can be grateful that the Lord has provided a way for tithing to be administered under His direction.
"According to revelation, bishops are ordained to 'keep the Lord’s storehouse; to receive the funds of the church.' Both bishops and clerks are expected to be full-tithe payers who have learned to live prudently within their means. Within hours of receiving tithing funds from members of their wards and branches, these local leaders transmit the funds directly to the headquarters of the Church.
"Then, as revealed by the Lord, the use of tithing is determined by a council comprised of the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and the Presiding Bishopric. The Lord specifically states that the council’s work be directed 'by mine own voice unto them.' This council is called the Council on the Disposition of the Tithes."
Also, in the aforementioned talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, he further explains the distribution of the funds: “[Tithing] funds are spent to build and maintain temples and houses of worship, to conduct our worldwide missionary work, to translate and publish scriptures, to provide resources to redeem the dead, to fund religious education, and to support other Church purposes selected by the designated servants of the Lord” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1994, 46; or Ensign, May 1994, 35).
President Hinckley, former President of the Church told of how much the brethren prayerfully consider the use of all funds: “I keep on the credenza behind my desk a widow’s mite that was given me in Jerusalem many years ago as a reminder, a constant reminder, of the sanctity of the funds with which we have to deal. They come from the widow; they are her offering as well as the tithe of the rich man, and they are to be used with care and discretion for the purposes of the Lord. We treat them carefully and safeguard them and try in every way that we can to see that they are used as we feel the Lord would have them used for the upbuilding of His work and the betterment of people” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1996, 69; or Ensign, Nov. 1996, 50).
Elder Marvin J. Ashton of the Quorum of the Twelve once said: “Successful financial management in every LDS home begins with the payment of an honest tithe. If our tithing and fast offerings are the first obligations met following the receipt of each paycheck, our commitment to this important gospel principle will be strengthened and the likelihood of financial mismanagement will be reduced. Paying tithing promptly to Him who does not come to check up each month will teach us and our children to be more honest with those physically closer at hand” (One for the Money: Guide to Family Finance [pamphlet, 1992], 3).
Again, President Heber J. Grant teaches us of tithing: "The Lord does not need your money or mine. Compliance with the law of tithing and donations for ward meetinghouses, stake houses, academies, temples, missionary work and these various needs, are all for our good. They are but lessons that we are learning which will qualify and prepare us to become more godlike and to be fitted to go back into the presence of our heavenly Father. The very lessons of a financial nature that are given us are the same as lessons that are given in a school to a boy or a girl; they are for the benefit of the boy; they are for the benefit of the girl, for their advancement, for their joy and happiness in after life; because of all the knowledge and information we acquire, and in the improvement that we make, we ourselves are the ones who are benefited.
"God our heavenly Father has instituted laws to improve his people physically, spiritually, intellectually, and one of the best laws in all the world to make better Latter-day Saints is the law of tithing. There are many people who believe the gospel and would probably embrace it, but for the fact that they are like that young man of whom we read in the Scripture, when the Savior told him, after the young man declared that 'all these things have I done,' to sell what he had and give to the poor [see Matthew 19:16–22]. Many people cannot endure the gospel because of financial requirements that are made of them, and they allow the things of this world, which they have grasped firmly and steadfastly, to rob them of the greatest of all God’s gifts, namely, life eternal. I commend the law of tithing to the Latter-day Saints" (In Conference Report, Oct. 1921, 6–7; paragraphing altered).
May we all remember to pay our tithing and other offerings. There is no reason why we should deny the blessings associated with tithing because we think we are too poor, unworthy, or too far in debt to pay. None of these excuses will do. We should always trust in God and put faith in His promise that He will take care of us. I leave you with my testimony that I know tithing is not only a commandment from our Heavenly Father, but a means by which He can not wait to bless us. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
In order for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to thrive in the world, it needs financing. The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, has given us a way to pay for the up-keep of His Kingdom. This is the Law of Tithing. In 1838, Joseph Smith inquired of the Lord what should be required as a sufficient sacrifice of the people. Doctrine and Covenants Section 119 gives the Lord's answer and commandment for us to pay tithing in these latter days:
1 Verily, thus saith the Lord, I require all their surplus property to be put into the hands of the bishop of my church in Zion,
2 For the building of mine house, and for the laying of the foundation of Zion and for the priesthood, and for the debts of the Presidency of my Church.
3 And this shall be the beginning of the tithing of my people.
4 And after that, those who have thus been tithed shall pay one-tenth of all their interest annually; and this shall be a standing law unto them forever, for my holy priesthood, saith the Lord.
5 Verily I say unto you, it shall come to pass that all those who gather unto the land of Zion shall be tithed of their surplus properties, and shall observe this law, or they shall not be found worthy to abide among you.
6 And I say unto you, if my people observe not this law, to keep it holy, and by this law sanctify the land of Zion unto me, that my statutes and my judgments may be kept thereon, that it may be most holy, behold, verily I say unto you, it shall not be a land of Zion unto you.
7 And this shall be an ensample unto all the stakes of Zion. Even so. Amen.
As we can see, the Lord's definition is simply "one-tenth of all. . .interest annually". To determine a tenth, we use our favorite middle-school mathematics to move the decimal place one spot to the left. For a thousand dollars, pay one hundred; for one hundred, pay ten; for ten, pay one; for one dollar, pay a dime; and for dime, pay a penny.
In 1953, Joseph L. Wirthlin, a former Presiding Bishop of the Church, gave his definition when he explained: “The very word itself denotes one-tenth. A tithe is one-tenth of the wage earner’s full income. A tithe is one-tenth of the professional man’s net income. A tithe is one-tenth of the farmer’s net income, and also one-tenth of the produce used by the farmer to sustain his family which is a just and equitable requirement, as others purchase out of their income such food as is needed to provide for their families. A tithe is one-tenth of the dividends derived from investments. A tithe is one-tenth of net insurance income less premiums if tithing has been paid on the premiums.” (Conference Report, April 1953, p. 98. Italics added.)
We should remember that many Church leaders have counseled as Brigham Young did that like other commandments the Lord will not force you to pay your tithing, though he urges that we do so honestly and not pretend to do it (“Brigham Young on Tithing,” Improvement Era, May 1941, p. 282). The Lord first gave us our agency and our choice to follow him or not follow him. You can come to church activities, attend meetings, and socialize with other members and not pay your tithing, however, if you want the blessing that the Lord has in store for us, you must pay your tithes and offerings to the Lord. This is, in-fact, a question placed before us to enter the temple.
Heber J. Grant was well known for his counsel on tithing during his presidency in the church. He gave the following in The Improvement Era in 1941: "I heard a very splendid illustration given by a Sunday School teacher of the Primary class. She brought to her school ten beautiful red apples. She explained that everything we have in the world came to us from the Lord, and she said, 'Now, children, if I give one of you these ten apples, will you give me one back again? Now, any one of you children that will do that, hold up your hand.' And of course they all held up their hands. Then she said, 'That is what the Lord does for us. He gives us the ten apples, but He requests that we return one to Him to show our appreciation of that gift.'
"The great trouble with the majority of people is that when they get the ten apples, they eat up nine of them and then they cut the other in two and give the Lord half of what is left. Some of them cut the apple in two and eat up one-half of it and then hold up the other half and ask the Lord to take a bite. That is about as near as they see fit to share properly and show their gratitude to the Lord.
"The payment of our tithing in the season thereof — when we get our income — makes it come easy. I find that those who pay tithing every month have very much less difficulty in paying it than those who postpone payment to the end of the year, when they have eaten the nine apples, so to speak; but if they pay the minute they get the apples in their possession, there is no hardship; their hearts are full of gratitude, and they are willing to express their gratitude; but after the nine apples are eaten, they think the Lord is very hard to want all they have left" (Improvement Era, vol. 44, pp. 9, 56).
If we look anciently, in the scriptures, we can see what some of the blessings are that tithing affords us. We learn in Genesis 14 that Abraham (then Abram) paid tithes to Melchizedek, who was the high priest. This is expounded upon in Hebrews 7 and Alma 13, where we learn that it is through the Priesthood that these tithes were administered. The Sons of Levi, for instance, who were those chosen by God to administer in the Priesthood, were in charge of collecting the tithes of the people from Moses through to the days of Jesus Christ. In Genesis 28, we see Jacob covenanting to always pay one tenth to God.
A most oft quoted scripture on tithing, however, comes from Malachi chapter 3:
8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.
9 Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.
10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
How great would it be to receive so many blessings, we don't even have room enough to receive them? How awful does it sound to know that we may be robbing God? We should remember that God has given us everything we have. From air and water, to our very bodies. He has given us the gospel and all the knowledge we receive. So far, I already can't name all the blessings I have received. But these are given to everyone. Imagine how much more we would receive when we remember to pay our tithing!
When we read these versus, we often forget to quote the rest of the chapter. The rest of the chapter explains several more of the blessings which come from tithing. In verse seven, the Lord says "Return unto me, and I will return unto you, saith the Lord of hosts." Now let's see verses eleven and twelve and count the blessings of paying tithes and offerings: "11 And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord of hosts. 12 And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the Lord of hosts." Now those are some blessings I could enjoy. The Lord actually promises to bless the whole nation!
One of the greatest blessings I have found in my personal paying of tithing is the growth in my testimony. This is one of the commandments from the Lord that we are able to follow one hundred percent perfectly. Every one of us has the ability to be perfect in this. And with so many blessings afforded to us because of it, it is worth doing. The only way to learn what those blessing are, however, is to actually pay it.
My parents taught me well the lessons of paying tithing. In my house we did not have an allowance, but at least once a year, at tithing settlement, we would pay offerings. My parents would give us a few pennies to put in an envelope and have us fill out the tithing slip as early as we could read. We would give this as our offering. It was a special thing to give a small token to the Bishop and then receive a paper statement from him with my own name on it! I remember the excited feeling to this day. It inspired me to want to earn my own money. I then started collecting the coins I found scattered on the ground from time to time and would separate out a tenth of that income and give it to the Lord. It was, after all, a gift from the Lord, and He deserved His portion of it. Eventually of course, through mowing my neighbors' lawns and other chores I was able to earn other income I was eager to tithe.
As I pay it now, I receive abundant blessings. I am certain that because I pay my tithing the Lord has taught me how to mange my own money better. I will often figure my budget in my head and not determine how I will manage to pay the tithing. But when I sit at the computer and include the tithing in as a part of the budget, everything works out.
Because of my paying tithing, I have been able to afford what I have. I was able to get post-secondary education and completely pay for it without loans. I am not completely out of debt, I have plenty of that, but the debt is reasonable, manageable, and as I continue to pay tithing, somehow manages to get paid faster than I plan for it. In fact, at one point, I asked the Lord to help me find a job, and he gave me two! The blessings never end. I may not have a garden which won't cast its fruit before its time, but I do have a meager income and bills which must come at certain times of the month to be paid on time and cars which need to be kept up. If bills come early or an accident occurs, it can hurt financially. The Lord, however, helps find a way, every time. I can rest easy and exercise increased faith, that even in those circumstances, though I may have to sacrifice, due to my payment in tithing, I will be blessed with a means to do what is necessary to get my life back in order. And this will come in a fashion of blessings so large, I will not have room enough to receive them!
Taken from the May 1994 Ensign is a story by Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “During World War II, my widowed mother supported her three young children on a schoolteacher’s salary that was meager. When I became conscious that we went without some desirable things because we didn’t have enough money, I asked my mother why she paid so much of her salary as tithing. I have never forgotten her explanation: ‘Dallin, there might be some people who can get along without paying tithing, but we can’t. The Lord has chosen to take your father and leave me to raise you children. I cannot do that without the blessings of the Lord, and I obtain those blessings by paying an honest tithing. When I pay my tithing, I have the Lord’s promise that he will bless us, and we must have those blessings if we are to get along’” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1994, 43–44; or Ensign, May 1994, 33).
But there is another driving force in my willingness to pay my tithing, and that is in knowing where it goes. What does tithing pay for anyway? We don't have a paid clergy, so we know the Bishop doesn't look forward to buying a nice yacht with all the money handed him. . . . No, the money goes to helping build the Lord's Kingdom. Doctrine and Covenants Section 120 tells us how tithes should be administered: "Verily, thus saith the Lord, the time is now come, that it shall be disposed of by a council, composed of the First Presidency of my Church, and of the bishop and his council, and by my high council; and by mine own voice unto them, saith the Lord. Even so. Amen." The 'bishop' in this case refers to the Presiding Bishop of the Church and the 'council' refers to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
Elder Robert D. Hales, in the October 2002 General Conference explained this: "Significant in our day is the way in which tithing is distributed. As we see examples of greed and avarice among some irresponsible corporate executives, we can be grateful that the Lord has provided a way for tithing to be administered under His direction.
"According to revelation, bishops are ordained to 'keep the Lord’s storehouse; to receive the funds of the church.' Both bishops and clerks are expected to be full-tithe payers who have learned to live prudently within their means. Within hours of receiving tithing funds from members of their wards and branches, these local leaders transmit the funds directly to the headquarters of the Church.
"Then, as revealed by the Lord, the use of tithing is determined by a council comprised of the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and the Presiding Bishopric. The Lord specifically states that the council’s work be directed 'by mine own voice unto them.' This council is called the Council on the Disposition of the Tithes."
Also, in the aforementioned talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, he further explains the distribution of the funds: “[Tithing] funds are spent to build and maintain temples and houses of worship, to conduct our worldwide missionary work, to translate and publish scriptures, to provide resources to redeem the dead, to fund religious education, and to support other Church purposes selected by the designated servants of the Lord” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1994, 46; or Ensign, May 1994, 35).
President Hinckley, former President of the Church told of how much the brethren prayerfully consider the use of all funds: “I keep on the credenza behind my desk a widow’s mite that was given me in Jerusalem many years ago as a reminder, a constant reminder, of the sanctity of the funds with which we have to deal. They come from the widow; they are her offering as well as the tithe of the rich man, and they are to be used with care and discretion for the purposes of the Lord. We treat them carefully and safeguard them and try in every way that we can to see that they are used as we feel the Lord would have them used for the upbuilding of His work and the betterment of people” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1996, 69; or Ensign, Nov. 1996, 50).
Elder Marvin J. Ashton of the Quorum of the Twelve once said: “Successful financial management in every LDS home begins with the payment of an honest tithe. If our tithing and fast offerings are the first obligations met following the receipt of each paycheck, our commitment to this important gospel principle will be strengthened and the likelihood of financial mismanagement will be reduced. Paying tithing promptly to Him who does not come to check up each month will teach us and our children to be more honest with those physically closer at hand” (One for the Money: Guide to Family Finance [pamphlet, 1992], 3).
Again, President Heber J. Grant teaches us of tithing: "The Lord does not need your money or mine. Compliance with the law of tithing and donations for ward meetinghouses, stake houses, academies, temples, missionary work and these various needs, are all for our good. They are but lessons that we are learning which will qualify and prepare us to become more godlike and to be fitted to go back into the presence of our heavenly Father. The very lessons of a financial nature that are given us are the same as lessons that are given in a school to a boy or a girl; they are for the benefit of the boy; they are for the benefit of the girl, for their advancement, for their joy and happiness in after life; because of all the knowledge and information we acquire, and in the improvement that we make, we ourselves are the ones who are benefited.
"God our heavenly Father has instituted laws to improve his people physically, spiritually, intellectually, and one of the best laws in all the world to make better Latter-day Saints is the law of tithing. There are many people who believe the gospel and would probably embrace it, but for the fact that they are like that young man of whom we read in the Scripture, when the Savior told him, after the young man declared that 'all these things have I done,' to sell what he had and give to the poor [see Matthew 19:16–22]. Many people cannot endure the gospel because of financial requirements that are made of them, and they allow the things of this world, which they have grasped firmly and steadfastly, to rob them of the greatest of all God’s gifts, namely, life eternal. I commend the law of tithing to the Latter-day Saints" (In Conference Report, Oct. 1921, 6–7; paragraphing altered).
May we all remember to pay our tithing and other offerings. There is no reason why we should deny the blessings associated with tithing because we think we are too poor, unworthy, or too far in debt to pay. None of these excuses will do. We should always trust in God and put faith in His promise that He will take care of us. I leave you with my testimony that I know tithing is not only a commandment from our Heavenly Father, but a means by which He can not wait to bless us. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Gaming Therapy?
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9 Jul 2013, 2:12 PM:
This particular entry is written as a therapy to get me out of the mood to give in to temptation. Quite frankly, I find it strangely odd to be tempted right now. I was playing an On-line game and had pretty much forgotten about worrying about temptation. It is always nice to forget about it from time to time. When my mind is not thinking about it, I know I am sobering up.
Unfortunately, gaming is not always the best thing for avoiding the temptation. All it really does is trade one addiction for another. My gaming addiction, however, won't keep me out of the temple, but that's no excuse to game all day either. The main issue with gaming, though, is the fact that I am sitting at the computer. It is really easy to just stop playing and jump on the Internet. Within seconds I will be able to access whatever images or videos I want. I know where they are. But right now I'm not interested.
Of course, by simply writing this entry on the computer I'm even closer to the Internet because I do not need to say goodbye to a lot of other players in the game and shut it down. This program shuts down with one click. I have, however, chosen to write the journal on this computer so that I can use it for good. The computer is, after all, a tool.
I will explain why I use gaming as an alternate though. In the gaming world I have to use all my senses (except perhaps smell and taste). If it is a game that I play by myself on the computer, it is easier to just quit and mess around. If the game is an MMO, then I have On-line "friends" whom I talk to and discuss things with. It is a very basic form of socializing. Unfortunately not everyone who games is clean in speech and thought. Sometimes, I find exactly what I am trying to avoid in what I considered an antidote.
I think I have sufficiently overcome the current situation of temptation in my ramblings. Not all of these entries are totally coherent, but sometimes it's just nice to be able to put words in writing to clear the mind from all the clutter.
9 Jul 2013, 2:12 PM:
This particular entry is written as a therapy to get me out of the mood to give in to temptation. Quite frankly, I find it strangely odd to be tempted right now. I was playing an On-line game and had pretty much forgotten about worrying about temptation. It is always nice to forget about it from time to time. When my mind is not thinking about it, I know I am sobering up.
Unfortunately, gaming is not always the best thing for avoiding the temptation. All it really does is trade one addiction for another. My gaming addiction, however, won't keep me out of the temple, but that's no excuse to game all day either. The main issue with gaming, though, is the fact that I am sitting at the computer. It is really easy to just stop playing and jump on the Internet. Within seconds I will be able to access whatever images or videos I want. I know where they are. But right now I'm not interested.
Of course, by simply writing this entry on the computer I'm even closer to the Internet because I do not need to say goodbye to a lot of other players in the game and shut it down. This program shuts down with one click. I have, however, chosen to write the journal on this computer so that I can use it for good. The computer is, after all, a tool.
I will explain why I use gaming as an alternate though. In the gaming world I have to use all my senses (except perhaps smell and taste). If it is a game that I play by myself on the computer, it is easier to just quit and mess around. If the game is an MMO, then I have On-line "friends" whom I talk to and discuss things with. It is a very basic form of socializing. Unfortunately not everyone who games is clean in speech and thought. Sometimes, I find exactly what I am trying to avoid in what I considered an antidote.
I think I have sufficiently overcome the current situation of temptation in my ramblings. Not all of these entries are totally coherent, but sometimes it's just nice to be able to put words in writing to clear the mind from all the clutter.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Early to Rise
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8 Jul 2013, 8:39 PM
I find it interesting how much getting up early can make a difference on the day. I planned last night to make sure I got up early today so that I would be more productive. I even set an alarm to wake me up. It's annoying to wake up to an alarm when I'm on summer vacation, but as it turns out, I woke up before the alarm went off.
I immediately got ready. Because I did, I was ready to go to work and get things accomplished. I was able to clean areas of my house, do laundry, and take my truck in to get fixed. It was interesting to note how by noon, I had already accomplished most of what I had intended for the day. Had I woken up even a hour later, I would have been more lazy and wasted the entire day trying to decide whether or not to actually do those same chores.
The best part about it is that as I am active throughout the day, I am less inclined to be tempted. In fact, it barely even crosses my mind that I have an addiction.
Being as Day 3 is drawing to a close, I am feeling more sober. You can see it in my countenance I'm sure. There is no question that even the horrible addiction of lust can cloud the mind into a drunken state. It really is sobering to be clean. I notice it right away, my Bishop at church notices it right away. I wish for that two-week mark however, as it is supposed to be the official sober period once many of the toxins have had time to cleanse themselves out of my mind.
D&C 88:124 Cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another; cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated.
I can tell you that this scripture has been tested by me. It is truly inspired and excellent advise from the Lord Himself.
8 Jul 2013, 8:39 PM
I find it interesting how much getting up early can make a difference on the day. I planned last night to make sure I got up early today so that I would be more productive. I even set an alarm to wake me up. It's annoying to wake up to an alarm when I'm on summer vacation, but as it turns out, I woke up before the alarm went off.
I immediately got ready. Because I did, I was ready to go to work and get things accomplished. I was able to clean areas of my house, do laundry, and take my truck in to get fixed. It was interesting to note how by noon, I had already accomplished most of what I had intended for the day. Had I woken up even a hour later, I would have been more lazy and wasted the entire day trying to decide whether or not to actually do those same chores.
The best part about it is that as I am active throughout the day, I am less inclined to be tempted. In fact, it barely even crosses my mind that I have an addiction.
Being as Day 3 is drawing to a close, I am feeling more sober. You can see it in my countenance I'm sure. There is no question that even the horrible addiction of lust can cloud the mind into a drunken state. It really is sobering to be clean. I notice it right away, my Bishop at church notices it right away. I wish for that two-week mark however, as it is supposed to be the official sober period once many of the toxins have had time to cleanse themselves out of my mind.
D&C 88:124 Cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another; cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated.
I can tell you that this scripture has been tested by me. It is truly inspired and excellent advise from the Lord Himself.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Sabbath Day
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7 Jul 2013
You would think that the Sabbath Day is void of temptation, but that is not so. As it turns out, it is just another day to work at being holy and righteous. I find my Sundays very busy times. In fact, they are quite busy because of good works. Today for instance I was preparing my reports for the Elders Quorum, making sure the men's choir was organized and tending to other duties. I gave several people rides. And wouldn't you know, while I was writing this very entry I got a call to give a talk in church next week! Needless to say, by the time I got home, I was too exhausted to really think about doing much. You know what this means: idleness.
I find it funny that Sunday is often one of the toughest times for me. I know I will be alone. I know I will not have anyone watching me. The Lord's Day is one of the most difficult days to stay holy for someone with a secret, private addiction. It is a time people are spending with their families, resting, playing games, etc. For a bachelor like me, it means that nobody will be coming over. Nobody will be calling. Nobody will be bothering me. It is the truest test of faithfulness. How do I act when I know I am completely alone?
Temptation came the way it usually comes: the Internet. It's like my computer calls me saying, "Come, play with the Internet. You can look up pictures of clothed girls, you can just read the news, play some online games. Nothing too bad, just come over here and idly surf the Internet." Well, I know where that always leads. Today it was for me to look up pictures of the mermaids from the most recent Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I did look up some pictures. Luckily I was more interested in the names of the actors than in the pictures themselves. There was one which hinted at nudity, but wasn't quite there. I had to stop. I immediately closed the Internet.
Instead of running away and pacing around the house, I pulled out the little blue glass bead I had been carrying around today and admired it and the symbolism I assigned to it. Then I went on to the LDS Hastening the Work of Salvation site to find the talks from the recent leadership conference for my church. I found the videos they played during the conference and watched those--admittedly because I remembered there was a cute girl in one of them. Well, I enjoyed the pretty face, but the message in the video was way stronger than the selfish reason I opened the video. I couldn't help but watch the other video short as well as half of Elder Perry's talk. This completely freed my mind from the problem of temptation it was having earlier.
Thank goodness I had the resolve to do what was right today. I can't wait to have two beads in that jar tomorrow morning. I already suffered by taking one out. There is no need to do that again.
7 Jul 2013
You would think that the Sabbath Day is void of temptation, but that is not so. As it turns out, it is just another day to work at being holy and righteous. I find my Sundays very busy times. In fact, they are quite busy because of good works. Today for instance I was preparing my reports for the Elders Quorum, making sure the men's choir was organized and tending to other duties. I gave several people rides. And wouldn't you know, while I was writing this very entry I got a call to give a talk in church next week! Needless to say, by the time I got home, I was too exhausted to really think about doing much. You know what this means: idleness.
I find it funny that Sunday is often one of the toughest times for me. I know I will be alone. I know I will not have anyone watching me. The Lord's Day is one of the most difficult days to stay holy for someone with a secret, private addiction. It is a time people are spending with their families, resting, playing games, etc. For a bachelor like me, it means that nobody will be coming over. Nobody will be calling. Nobody will be bothering me. It is the truest test of faithfulness. How do I act when I know I am completely alone?
Temptation came the way it usually comes: the Internet. It's like my computer calls me saying, "Come, play with the Internet. You can look up pictures of clothed girls, you can just read the news, play some online games. Nothing too bad, just come over here and idly surf the Internet." Well, I know where that always leads. Today it was for me to look up pictures of the mermaids from the most recent Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I did look up some pictures. Luckily I was more interested in the names of the actors than in the pictures themselves. There was one which hinted at nudity, but wasn't quite there. I had to stop. I immediately closed the Internet.
Instead of running away and pacing around the house, I pulled out the little blue glass bead I had been carrying around today and admired it and the symbolism I assigned to it. Then I went on to the LDS Hastening the Work of Salvation site to find the talks from the recent leadership conference for my church. I found the videos they played during the conference and watched those--admittedly because I remembered there was a cute girl in one of them. Well, I enjoyed the pretty face, but the message in the video was way stronger than the selfish reason I opened the video. I couldn't help but watch the other video short as well as half of Elder Perry's talk. This completely freed my mind from the problem of temptation it was having earlier.
Thank goodness I had the resolve to do what was right today. I can't wait to have two beads in that jar tomorrow morning. I already suffered by taking one out. There is no need to do that again.
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