I have decided that I need to begin working on Step Six items even while working Steps Four and Five. The one I chose to comment on today is the concept from Ether 12:27:
" And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
I wonder how I am with accepting the awakening of this verse. I find myself sometimes not wanting to be humble. Being humble means that I have to take responsibility for my actions as well as actively try to change my behaviors. Of course, that's the whole point of recovery. If there is no movement, no growth, and no change, then the only thing left is self-pity, doubt, regret, and all the other consequences of participating in the addiction.
Do I really want to know my weaknesses? Step Four is definitely good for that one. But I really understand the why men have weaknesses already....
Several years ago, one of my bishops pointed out in a way how my own addiction had become a blessing in my life. I mentioned to him that night that I understood the basics of the atonement and knew and understood the importance of it. My problem was that I didn't seem to understand what difference it made for me in my life. He related to me that nobody really understands the atonement until it has worked for them. Though my test was not the test he was given, it was still there to help me understand just how much I needed to rely on the Savior and turn my life over to him. It was a way for me to learn that I need Him! I could abstain the rest of my life and live perfectly from now on, but the only one who can erase the past is Christ. I have to trust in Him.
This is how a weak thing can be made strong. I am weak in my addiction, but as I learn to turn it over the The Lord, I become strong in testimony and faith.
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