Recovery Humility

April 1, 2014; 7:01 pm:

I was reading in the recovery manual and discovered a question relating to humility. I found this kind of coincidental, ironic, or inspired for that matter due to my girlfriend choosing a talk on humility for yesterday's Family Home Evening. I guess I was destined to write about it.

Concerning sexual addiction, in my opinion, there are several levels of humility: (1) humility of admittance, (2) humility of abstinence, (3) humility of repentance, (4) humility of thought, and finally (5) humility of recovery. I know several of these more or less correspond with other writings, plans, etc., but this is my list of what goes on in my head as to my own scale of how I'm doing.

I would say to be humble is to be compliant, honest, and willing to change or be submissive to that which is right even if it is not easy. Each level in my list above is what happens each time I slip and begin the process of soberness.

The first level is the humility of admittance. Admitting there is a problem is only one aspect of admittance. This one also covers lies, covering sins, justification of "just a little bit", and refusal to ask for help. I find this to be the most difficult step in humility as it involves me talking with someone else about the problem.

The second level is humility in abstinence. This level includes switching from white-knuckling to actually desiring to change. I find it too easy to find pride in myself in being clean. There is more to soberness than avoiding the problem: there is the desire to do what is right in the first place. This level of humility requires that the motivation behind the action is Christ-centered.

The third level is all about repentance. True repentance is more than over-coming the sin. It requires asking forgiveness from The Lord, those I've hurt, and myself. Then, it requires actual work to fix those things I've done wrong. Without humility, I would not be able to accomplish this step. It is a life-long process and requires Christ to do. It very often overlaps the other levels.

The fourth level is all about honesty in thought. Thoughts can be a dangerous place to visit. I can recall any image I want whenever and wherever I want. But there is more to it: I need to make sure I keep my eyes focused as well. A quick double-take look at a pretty girl or slightly entertaining the idea of indulgence is enough to set off a chain reaction of failure. If I can honestly sit down at night and admit to myself that I have honesty striven to keep my thoughts and actions clean, then I know I am exercising humility in thought.

The final level is humility in recovery. Overcoming an addiction is not only soberness. I would say I am not fully sober when I am thinking of my addiction and the problems it has caused. I have to honestly put faith in The Lord that He will help me overcome future situations and even steer me away from compromising situations. Recovery is clear when I realize I have been presented with a situation and did not even consider indulgence. Humility in that situation only comes from realizing that it was The Lord who gave me that strength and that I did not develop that on my own.

As I strive for more humility, I hope and pray that someday I will reach that highest level of humility and free myself from the chains of addiction.