Don't Break the Moment

Friday, June 27, 2914; 8:26 pm:

This week I have been on vacation with my girlfriend in Utah. Over the course of the week I have been able to see many things which are inspiring. I was able to see some of my family I had not seen in years, I was able to see her family and get to know them. I was able to see a river and flow down it. I was able to see the landscape from the top of a mountain. And best of all, I was able to see twelve temples and walk around most of them.

In all this time, the temptation level has been near zero. I have not needed to find a time or place to hide or flee. I have been sober the entire time and it feels great. In fact, the only reason it even crossed my mind was because my girlfriend checked up on me. I am grateful for The Lord for helping me stay this way: for taking it out of my mind.

I have found that surrounding myself with things and people I love makes the entire world a different place in my mind and I can even feel free.

Now I have to carry it with me and make sure I don't break the moment!

Take A Break

Wednesday, June 18, 2014; 10:09 pm:

Something that crosses my mind from time to time is just how much the addiction occupies my mind. Sometimes I think that part of the reason I give in to temptation is because I am concentrating on overcoming it. When this happens, I find that I sometimes forget to live the rest of my life. It is difficult at times to realize at times that I am so caught up in overcoming my addiction that in a sense I have created a secondary addiction: an addiction to the process of the cure.

I find that my best moments of sobriety come when I forget that I have an addiction in the first place. In this case, it is important to "Take a Break"!

Dearest Heavenly Father. . . .

Dearest Heavenly Father,

I thank Thee for the blessings which Thou hast given me. Thou hast given me such wondrous blessings, I do not know how to accept them all. I have received from Thy hand promises and prophesies which both bless and confound me. I pray that I will learn to grow using all the talents and abilities Thou hast bestowed upon me. Allow me to accept with patience and understanding the trials which do beset me. Help me in my efforts to grow closer to Thee.

I need Thy guiding hand in all that I do. Please bring the peace to my heart that I know only Thy Spirit can bestow. I need that peace to calm my vexations and torments of my soul. Thou knowest of those things which I stand need of. Thou hast made me aware of my situation and granted me the privilege to understand who I am and who I need to become.

I pray for Thy constant guidance. Help me to follow the path that is the most sure way to return to Thy presence. I so desire to have Thy never-ceasing companionship with me at all times. As I enter into the world, I need Thee to help remind me who I am that I might be true to the straight-and-narrow way.

Please forgive me of those trespasses which I have committed. At times, I have a tendency to give in to the natural man. I understand that he is an enemy to Thee and I need Thy guidance and companionship to combat this natural man and all the wiles of the devil. I desire to be free from temptation and sin, but understand that I must endure to fully understand and comprehend fully Thy full plan of happiness and salvation.

Please bestow upon me the power of the Atonement through Thy Son, Jesus Christ. Allow me to reach into the heavens and feel of the peace of cleanliness and righteous power and light. In return, please allow Thy Son to reach down and grasp my out-stretched hands. Please allow me to come forward and enter in an embrace that I might feel of His love to me and recognize for myself the gift which has been provided.

Help me to be a better person. I pray that I might serve my fellow men in ways that will help them and honor Thee. I wish to make recompense for the wrongs which I have committed. Allow me the opportunity and open my mind that I might remember those things which need correction that I might be able to make proper restitution. Help me honor the Priesthood and use it to bless the lives of others.

Father, I so desire to be with Thee. I wish to receive the blessings which Thou hast promised to the righteous and faithful. Help me be one of those who will stand on your right hand at that Great and Dreadful and otherwise Wondrous Day of the coming of The Lord, Thy Son: Jesus Christ, my Savior!

Please, Father, grant me this petition that I may feel peace in my heart and be one with Thee and Thy Son. Help me honor my part of my covenants that I may make good on Thy promises. Help me be whole. Quiet the ramblings of my heart. Grant me witness of thine everlasting love and affection.

This I pray, in the name of Thy Son, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Draw Near

Tuesday, June 3, 2014; 7:09 pm:

"Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."
            --D&C 88:63.

I wonder sometimes how I am doing with this particular principle of the gospel (as well as this portion of Step 11 in the recovery program). How well have I drawn near to The Lord? Am I distancing myself from him on purpose or drawing only as close as I like instead of where I should be?

These are questions which need to be asked in order to know how I am doing with my own personal progression along life's paths. On a day-to-day basic, however, it is essential to first of all make sure I have a constant prayer in my heart for protection and guidance in all I do. I have to ask. The second most important thing I need is to make sure I am listening. Without the guidance of the Holy Ghost, I do not stand a chance against many of the fiery darts which come my way.

I have learned over time that The Lord will always reach out to help me. Most of the time, I just have to be smart enough to reach back and accept the help.