Forward-Reflection

5 Aug 2013, 9:24 PM

I am caught in strange thought tonight. I received an e-mail with a video of my grandmother in hospice care struggling to leave a farewell message to her posterity. I do not expect her to last very much longer. My grandfather will probably follow her shortly.

I remember when I was around 10 years old, my grandfather re-married after his first wife had passed away. I went with my family to visit and as soon as I walked in the room, his new wife was standing there and called me by name. I had a new grandma.

It occurs to me that I have known her longer than I have known this addiction. She has been strong and assumed her role quickly. I know that I can do the same. I wish to honor her as she requested my family remember to keep "peace, harmony, and love in the family." I will best be able to accomplish this if I can do so righteously.

But the thought also crossed my mind how thin the veil can be sometimes. Our ancestors look after us and watch what we do on a daily basis. My grandma knows who I am and cares for me. I am sure, that once she departs this world and goes on to the next, that she will look after me. Well, if that is the case, then she will know my addiction. How strong will I be? When she looks to see how I am doing what will she see? Will she see an honorable Priesthood bearer who has overcome the temptations of the devil? Will she see, perhaps, a struggling man calling on the Lord to help him overcome trials and tribulations? Or will I let her down and will she see a broken man with crimson garments ignoring those things he knows are true?

She is not gone yet, but when she does go, I want her visions of me to be good ones. I want her to turn to the other spirits around her, perhaps to my grandpa's first wife, my natural grandmother, and say, "Look, there is our grandson. I am so proud of him. Look what he has become! Thank you for letting me share your family for a season and feel of their love, honor, and nobility! I am proud to say he is my grandson. I can't wait to share an eternity with him!"