Calm

I am rather calm right now. It might be because Stephanie is a massage therapist and worked on my arms today, it might be that it was just a good day.

It is a good day. I am going back to work now. There is no better way to get the whole thing off my mind than to be completely engaged in something else. Of course, it comes with the price that there is a weekend next. I have chosen to leave my computer off and am typing this on my iPad instead. Though there is still access to evil, it is much less likely.

I have also decided, via recommendation, that I need to avoid YouTube for a while. It is too easy to find what I shouldn't. They show up in the thumbnails when I'm watching other random videos. Then, somehow, like a magnet, both my eyes and my mouse hover over it for a bit and end up selecting it. This happened only a couple days ago. However, thanks to going to work, I did not indulge in binging. That can sometimes last several days. Avoiding YouTube for a couple weeks should help.

I really am quite calm right now. It's kind of nice actually. Otherwise I would be sitting here nervously worrying about staying sober tomorrow. It doesn't seem like an issue right now. Part of me says I should relax and not worry. The other part of me is reminding me to keep my guard up. It is always when I least expect it that it will show up the worst.