Anxiety

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5 Jul 2013, 2:27 PM:

So, I had just finished writing the last entry a couple hours ago and then the next phase of temptation and ridiculousness hit. This time it was extreme anxiety and frustration. I had sever anxiety over nothing during a time I was trying to avoid getting it. Then frustration hit me when I was trying to collapse a small box to put in the recycle pile. I ended up ripping the box in two and throwing it to the floor. Then I kinda went nuts and started texting mean comments to Stephanie. She reminded me to pray. The thought was already going through my head, but I guess I needed that extra boost of someone reminding me to do it to actually break down and do it.

It seemed like a less-than-sincere prayer, but apparently it was just what I needed. The scripture "the Spirit. . .teacheth a man to pray. . .[but] the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray" (2 Nephi 32:8) had been going through my head for quite some time already. Within minutes I was relieved of the anxiety and frustration. I was able to thus eat some lunch and feel relaxed again.

This just goes to prove that the addiction of lust is more than just an addiction. . . it is a tool of the adversary to tempt mankind and pull them away from God. This is why I almost use temptation as a substitute for withdrawals interchangeably. The withdrawals are temptation. Many of them are not results of the lack of dopamine being produced in the brain, but are a result of Satan actually attempting to 'kick me while I'm down'.

It would have been so easy to blame the mood on the change of the weather as today's monsoon blew in. I've never been a fan of humidity and that will make me irritable. This was definitely not a result of the storm. I like watching storms!