Keeping Busy

22 Jul 2013, 9:37 PM

I am approaching the hour where I will be officially sober for 9 full day periods. Today was strange. I felt urges, had premonitions to avoid triggers, but most importantly, I realized when the temptation sinks in: idleness. Today was the first day in a while where I was able to be home and alone for an extended period of time. Basically, from what I can tell, I allowed my mind to wander and that is what allowed the thoughts to come. That easy.

I look forward to tomorrow. It will be Day 10, or in other words: the second Day 5 of this series. It is when I failed last time I made it this far. I am not going to loose this time. This time I have an advantage: I remember why I failed last time. Last time I got complacent and wasn't ready to stop. This time I am ready to stop. Last time I thought it was amazing to be on Day 10 and proud of my accomplishment. This time I am going to take Day 10 carefully, like I would a Day 5 and move carefully forward. There is no reason to "count my chickens before they hatch".

As long as I don't do anything to compromise myself, I will be okay. I trust the Lord will do His best to help me keep my mind clear and my focus on my goal. I have finally learned that I am not able to do this alone. I must have the Lord on my side if I am going to get through this. Last time I made it to Day 10. This time, we will make it there. . .and beyond.