22 Jul 2013, 9:16 AM
In church yesterday, we had a lesson on tithing. This was supposed to be last week's lesson, but we did the wrong one and returned to it. At any rate, we were going over the concept of paying tithing and how it is a commandment that a person should just follow no matter what. Then, the brother sitting next to me said something to the effect of "There are three reasons why a person will obey a commandment: blind faith because that's 'just the what you are supposed to do', desperation because life has been hard, or because you actually love our Father in Heaven."
I immediately wrote that down. Which level am I at? Am I being obedient because I need to? Am I being obedient because I have to? Or am I being obedient because I have decided to love and honor my Heavenly Father?
Some days, I do not know which one it is. Perhaps whenever I begin with Day 1 or so, it will be out of desperation to get out of the habit. Days 2-5 seem to be half desperation, and half blind faith because I know I will receive blessing if I do. But past Day 5, it seems that I enjoy being clean too much to relate to being selfishly desperate or blind as to where I am going. I do not know what is coming around the bend, but I do know this: the Lord will bless me if I do what is right.
What I am looking forward to a lot is taking the sacrament this coming Sunday. It has been three years, but for the first time in over 15, it will feel right to do so!
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